Fuck you, 1960's try-hard hippie, child of the earth, wannabe scum

I'm having a difficult time understanding a trend which I have seen emerging through social media and current youth culture. For those who may not know, there has been a recent injection of mainstream cancer into the outdoor festival scene of Victoria. You know those overnight bush-doofs? Well there's a tremendous amount of over-privileged liberal arts students attending them. What's new ye? Well.. they're dressing up like hippies while taking cringe inducing photos with these putrid 1960's filters on them. You may have seen them around.

I will clarify:

Exhibit A:

Here we have a classic photo from probably around the mid to late 60's. Notice the distinct lack of impostors as this was the only time in history that you could dress this way while taking yourself seriously - there was a movement; kind of. Notice the lack of smartphones and, identify with me here, that these people have most likely actually used LSD in their lives. 

Exhibit B:

These are posers. Their parents are most likely quite wealthy and on Monday, when the festivals done, they're going to go back to University where some sad kids are going to have to listen to their stupid unoriginal opinions. They do dumb shit like talk without knowing anything, have a sense of entitlement, and constantly think to themselves that, "no one gets it." 'It' being the meaning of life, because they've cracked the code with the help of their first year philosophy elective.

We get it. You're fucking hypocrites.

Taking a weekend away from the real world and playing dress up as The Beatles for the duration won't make that shitty festival you're going to seem anything like Woodstock 1969. You actually make environments, which are otherwise cool, seem completely uninviting.

They actually knew how to play instruments! Woah!

You see, it's 2014. Stop trying so very hard. I get it, 'consciousness expansion dude'. Awesome! The only problem is that you look like a giant, colourful pack of handpicked social retards from high-school, who met their first real friends at University. After watching a couple of documentaries about psychedelic drugs, you and your new 'fresh crew' decided to eat some 25I-NBOMe, which you thought and still think was acid; now, you've transformed into Terrence Mckenna and the people around you have to deal with this shit. Righteous dude!

When you sit there, spouting out how much you care about the environment whilst clocking 20'000 kilometers a year in the petrol guzzling Jeep your parents bought you for Christmas, just remember that there's people actually doing shit about the stuff you supposedly care about, and they don't get about looking like a fucking optical illusion.

Ye! Fuck that terrain up!

Right about now, if you've identified with the stereotype I've presented, you're most likely gripping tightly at the copy of 'The Doors of Perception' you purchased but never read. 

List of people that are twirling in their grave watching you behave:

• Hunter S. Thompson
• John Lennon
• Janis Joplin
• Aldous Huxley
• William Blake
• Jimi Hendrix
• Jim Morrison

etc.... you get the point - all your idols would spit on you in a rapid machine gun fire fashion given the existence of appropriate technology to resurrect them. Nothing needs to be said about the filter you use on your photos. If spastic was a colour, you've nailed it.

Also, if you own those John Lennon glasses, consider yourself medically diagnosed as fucked in the head; seek help. 

I should know, I'm a Doctor.
Dr. Mantis Taboggan.

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